{"id":3960,"date":"2022-04-29T08:55:28","date_gmt":"2022-04-29T12:55:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/swirlingpetals.com\/?p=3960"},"modified":"2022-05-02T12:16:18","modified_gmt":"2022-05-02T16:16:18","slug":"chapter-52","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/swirlingpetals.com\/?p=3960","title":{"rendered":"52 – Who to Trust"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The sun was warm in Tsunade\u2019s office. Everything looked familiar, felt familiar, even smelled<\/i> familiar. It was comfortable\u2026and yet somehow deceptive. It kept playing tricks on Sakura\u2019s mind. It made her feel like nothing had changed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But Sakura knew, standing in this office, she had to confront the truth she\u2019d been avoiding for days. Everything was different now.<\/p>\n

Despite her vow to tell Sasuke what had happened to her in that cavern with Chiyo and Sasori, she found she didn\u2019t want to talk about it. Not the next day. Nor the next. She hadn\u2019t given any extra details, and her team hadn\u2019t asked. Maybe they didn\u2019t suspect it of her to omit crucial details when she never had before. Or maybe, like her, they were just glad to be on their way home.<\/p>\n

So when Team 7 waited in the hall outside the Hokage\u2019s office immediately after returning, she knew couldn\u2019t avoid it any longer. She would need to explain herself. Tell the whole story and lay bare everything she\u2019d done to survive.<\/p>\n

It made her queasy just thinking about it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kakashi went in first, telling them to wait till he summoned them, then closed the door firmly behind him. But they could still hear Tsunade\u2019s angry voice ricocheting around the room.<\/p>\n

For a moment Sakura thought something had happened. Maybe Gaara had died. Maybe the monster inside him had broken free.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But it was not about the Sand Kage.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tsunade was furious at Kakashi for taking them out. Angrier than Sakura had ever heard her before. Several fragments made it crystal clear just how mad she was at him: He twisted her request to take his team into the desert on what was beyond an S-class mission\u2026. Even he<\/i> shouldn\u2019t have been on it\u2026. She asked him to look into it, not go there<\/i>\u2026. And imagine how many things could have gone wrong\u2026.<\/p>\n

Kakashi\u2019s responses were soft and indistinguishable, but apparently contained apologies enough to satisfy her. After several more tense moments, Kakashi popped his head outside, gave them an unrepentant grimace, then ushered them inside.<\/p>\n

Tsunade asked several questions of each of them. The anger aimed at Kakashi was mostly gone from her voice, and the questions were standard of Konoha mission debriefs. When she was satisfied, Sai and Sasuke were dismissed.<\/p>\n

\u201cSakura, please stay a moment.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura nodded and didn\u2019t move.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Standing in the sunny office, Sakura felt more relaxed than she had in days. Exhaustion was blooming from her aching muscles and joints, finally pushing out the tension that had weighed on her each step of the way home. They had come straight to the Kage tower without stopping. And in that moment of normalcy \u2014 the warm sun, the pleasant smell of fresh scrolls \u2014 she felt like everything might be okay again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was a mission. It was over. She would file her report. And maybe she could unburden herself of what happened.<\/p>\n

She might never be able tell Sasuke. But perhaps Tsunade would understand.<\/p>\n

The warmth lulled her into believing this would work. That there was a path forward for her\u2014<\/p>\n

The door closed quietly. Kakashi walked back into the room and stood beside her.<\/p>\n

Tsunade looked at Sakura. \u201cKakashi tells me you defeated Sasori to save the Sand Kage.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura nodded.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSingle-handedly?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I partnered with Lady Chiyo of the Sand. It was her chakra that brought back the Kage.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tsunade leaned on the arm of her chair, looking relaxed, but she didn\u2019t move. Her eyes were watching everything Sakura did. \u201cAnd how did that work?\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura knew she should reveal what Chiyo told her, what the old woman made her do\u2014 But the words wouldn\u2019t come.<\/p>\n

Maybe it was cowardice. Maybe it was weakness. But she couldn\u2019t make her voice work, she couldn\u2019t find the energy to explain what happened\u2026or the courage to relive one single moment of it. So Sakura took the easy way out.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

With the same fake smile, she repeated the same lie she\u2019d been telling since she walked out of the cave.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLady Chiyo told me what to do, and I did it. I fought off Sasori while she healed the Kage.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tsunade didn\u2019t move. She just looked at her.<\/p>\n

In the silence, Sakura felt the weight of the lie. The longer Tsunade sat, watching her, the heavier it was getting. Sakura forced herself not to look away or fidget nervously.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was as if Tsunade could see right through her. As if she already knew the things Sakura was didn\u2019t want to say….<\/p>\n

So perhaps even though she didn\u2019t want to admit to any of \u2014 to expose just how broken she was inside, even to herself \u2014 maybe it was time. And if she didn\u2019t do it now, she might never do it. The lie might sit there, inside her, getting darker and heavier, consuming more and more of her. Like Gaara\u2019s monster\u2026.<\/p>\n

Sakura blew out a low breath and parted her lips to speak\u2026but that\u2019s when she saw it\u2014<\/p>\n

A single look between Tsunade and Kakashi. She flashed her amber eyes at him, and he cleared his throat softly in acknowledgement.<\/p>\n

And that was all it took to change Sakura\u2019s fate.<\/p>\n

By the time Tsunade was shifting her eyes back to Sakura, cold clarity had washed over her.<\/p>\n

Some message had been exchanged between them. Something they knew, about her<\/i>\u2014<\/p>\n

The lulling comfort of a moment before was wiped away.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Nothing was the same, she thought bitterly. It may never be the same again.<\/p>\n

Gritting her teeth, Sakura forced her limbs to hang loosely at her sides. She did not let her body slide into the defensive pose that it so desperately wanted to.<\/p>\n

If she told them, then she\u2019d have to reveal what she\u2019d done, to herself and to Gaara. If she let anyone even see<\/i> her healing chakra now, they\u2019d know how different she was.<\/p>\n

Just the fact that she had actually changed her chakra form\u2026. She didn\u2019t even know that was possible. Maybe it wasn\u2019t. Maybe that<\/i> was Chiyo\u2019s poison\u2026.<\/p>\n

Sakura let herself grow cold inside. She let the memories harden her.<\/p>\n

She told herself to remember, to never, ever forget: They knew things about her. Perhaps they all did, even back to her teachers at the academy. And they didn\u2019t tell her. She had to find it out from an enemy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Something inside her shifted, her resolve turned to steel. It was as hard and unbreakable as the rope of chakra that coiled now just below the surface.<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t know who she could trust. She was on her own side now. She vowed to herself, no matter what was at stake, no one would ever know what happened until she had her answers first.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally, Sakura felt protected. In control. She raised and lowered her shoulders with a cleansing breath.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There was one detail she would tell them though. A fragment of information that she\u2019d held back for entirely different reasons.<\/p>\n

Sasori\u2019s parting information had been about Itachi, thus it effected Sasuke. She didn\u2019t tell Kakashi on the way back because she didn\u2019t want to risk Sasuke overhearing.<\/p>\n

But now, this scrap of information seemed like the perfect thing to shift attention away from herself. At least for a little while\u2026. At least until she figured some things out for herself\u2026.<\/p>\n

Sakura cleared her throat. \u201cSasori did say something, at the end. Something that didn\u2019t make any sense\u2026. It was about Itachi and Sasuke\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tsunade leaned forward, eyes sharp. Kakashi\u2019s body went rigid, alert.<\/p>\n

\u201cSasori was dying.\u201d She stopped. \u201cNo, not really dying. Unwinding<\/i>. His puppet body was failing.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Beside her, Kakashi tipped his head, nodding once.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said Itachi had already caught something.\u201d She looked from Kakashi to Tsunade and back again for clarification. They had none.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe said \u2018Itachi has already caught his\u2026.\u2019<\/p>\n

Tsunade was so still she looked frozen. Her knuckles were white where her fingers curled around the arm of her chair.<\/p>\n

Kakashi looked pained. He rubbed a hand down his face and swore under his breath. When he finally spoke, his voice was choked with emotion. \u201cAnd that\u2019s it? Nothing else?\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura shook her head. \u201cSasori\u2019s voice stopped working on the last word.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked back to Tsunade. This time, her expression was hard. A mix of anger\u2026and fear.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She tore off a piece of scroll and wrote down Sasori\u2019s words in fast, slashing strokes.<\/p>\n

Sakura added, less sure of herself now, \u201cI assumed it had something to do with Sasuke.\u201d She glanced at Kakashi. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to reveal it in front of him. In case, you know\u2026.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t fill in the rest. She knew they understood. In case he took off to hunt down Itachi. Keeping Sasuke safe and protected by the village had always been the number one priority where Itachi was concerned.<\/p>\n

But Tsunade and Kakashi looked like that was the farthest thing from their minds at the moment.<\/p>\n

Tsunade\u2019s face was drawn and colorless, as if she\u2019d just received the news of someone\u2019s death. Kakashi was grim. Sakura thought she\u2019d never seen him look so anguished. He tipped his head at Tsunade, almost as if he was silently pleading with her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Again, another unspoken communication passed between them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you should go,\u201d Tsunade said quietly. \u201cUpdate the others. Maybe there\u2019s still some hope,\u201d but she shook her head as if even she didn\u2019t believe what she was saying. She dismissed him with a single nod, then he was gone in a swirl of leaves.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura was confused. But delivering Sasori\u2019s message had the unexpected side-effect of relieving her guilt. Now she could leave too\u2014<\/p>\n

However Tsunade surprised her.<\/p>\n

\u201cSakura, I\u2019m glad we have a moment alone.\u201d She shifted some scrolls around on her desk, looking for the right ones. \u201cEven in light of this new information,\u201d she said, more to herself. Then she found what she was looking for.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She came around the desk and stood in front of Sakura. Two slims scrolls were in her hand. One was old, with yellowing paper. But the other was much older, with crumbling wax seals at the ends stuck with a few remaining threads of what must have once been a tassel.<\/p>\n

\u201cHad I known who you were facing or where you were going,\u201d Tsunade began, but stopped herself. \u201cWell, first, I never would have let Kakashi take you if I\u2019d known. But he is your sensei. And he knows your capabilities far better than I. And he was not wrong.\u201d She smiled briefly and Sakura bowed her head at the compliment.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut teaming up with a woman<\/i> like that,\u201d she growled the words, \u201cthen fighting against a shinobi like Sasori\u2026\u201d Her voice trailed into a long exhale. She looked down at the scroll. \u201cYou should have been better prepared. And I blame myself for that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura looked at her feet. For a brief moment Sakura wondered if maybe Tsunade would explain some of her history with Chiyo. She couldn\u2019t deny that relief flooded her at even some small part of her questions being answered\u2014<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d like to officially make you my apprentice.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura blinked in shock.<\/p>\n

Tsunade thumbed open the first scroll, the newer of the two. It was a contract. She continued speaking as her eyes skimmed over it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere are different medical practices in the world. Different,\u201d she paused, \u201cattitudes<\/i> about what constitutes healing. And encountering another medic is not always as advantageous as it apparently was this time. There are many things I could teach you\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

Tsunade looked up but was startled to find Sakura wide-eyed and shaking her head.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d she said breathlessly. \u201cNo, no, no\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

Tsunade\u2019s expression slipped from disbelief to something like betrayal.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura bowed deeply to avoid seeing it. \u201cI mean, no thank you, <\/i>Tsunade-sama. It is a great honor but\u2026.\u201d She raised her eyes, but only looked as high as the contract in Tsunade\u2019s hands. It seemed so flimsy where the old paper draped over outstretched fingers and glossy red nails. \u201cI do not wish to continue on as a medic,\u201d Sakura continued, voice was barely above a whisper. \u201cIn any capacity.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see,\u201d Tsunade said quietly. She rolled the yellowing paper back up onto itself and pressed the wax seal holding it back together.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura closed her eyes, wishing she didn\u2019t hear the pain her former master\u2019s voice. Wishing Tsunade hadn\u2019t asked. Wishing she wasn\u2019t forced to say no.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But here Sakura was in no doubt. She did not want use her chakra to heal anyone else. Ever again. And until she learned more about herself and what Chiyo had done to her, she didn\u2019t want anyone else to see her chakra either.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt is your choice, of course,\u201d Tsunade said. There was disappointment in her tone, but her words were without malice.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She placed the contract scroll on the desk, turned back and straightened. Sunlight poured in through the window behind her. It lined her shoulders and made her hair look nearly golden.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen there is only one thing left I can give you.\u201d The clipped tones of the village leader were back in her voice. This was not a request.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tsunade unrolled the second scroll. It was indeed much, much older. Long flowing rows of writing circled around and around themselves on the brown-edged parchment. It was in a language Sakura had never seen before. In the center of the rings of writing, four slashes of ink formed a diamond.<\/p>\n

Tsunade put her fingertips on writing. Speaking softly, she pushed her energy down into the paper until the writing glowed with her chakra. Then rings of text began to move\u2026. They swirled around and around, faster and faster, until the it looked like a luminous whirlpool. In the center, the glow slowly spread to the diamond. The four lines became so bright it looked as if they might burn through the ancient scroll.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tsunade lifted her fingertips off the page, very slowly, so as not to sever the chakra connecting to the writing. Beneath her palm, the glow began to lift off the paper too. It hovered there, in the space above the scroll, like a tiny star had just been born from the churning circle of text.<\/p>\n

The hand-drawn shape had transformed in mid-air into a perfect four-sided crystal. It rotated slowly above the scroll. The edges shimmered with Tsunade\u2019s pale purple chakra and the center was translucent, refracting light through it like a prism.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tsunade lifted her hand away and the crystal traveled with her, turning gently in the center of her cupped hand.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When Sakura saw the diamond on Tsunade\u2019s forehead glowing with the same purple chakra that glistened along the edges of the shape \u2014 as as if she was charging it, controlling it \u2014 she realized what she was seeing.<\/p>\n

\u201cSakura,\u201d Tsunade began. \u201cThis seal marks the top of a storage point for your chakra. Think of it like the tip of an iceberg. Or the opening of a well. It is just like mine.\u201d Sakura looked at the purple diamond on her Tsunade\u2019s forehead. \u201cIt will only take up that much space on your skin. But behind it is a vast space. As much as you need or want. So you will never run out again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tsuande\u2019s eyes shined with reflected purple light, and they both looked at the spinning diamond she held between them.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is an ancient seal,\u201d she continued, \u201ccreated before there were countries and villages. Back when there was a need to control the elemental energy existed freely in the world. It takes a powerful chakra wielder to fill it and maintain it, because it requires both a small amount of chakra at all times to hold it in place. Plus supporting the ocean of chakra that can be stored behind it over the course of your lifetime.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tsunade moved the hand with the diamond closer to Sakura, as if to pass it to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no doubt that you will manage both easily. In my whole life I have seen very few others with the level of chakra control you have.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura looked away, feeling suddenly ashamed of herself. Tsunade didn\u2019t miss her change in expression.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis seal is a gift. From me to you. Nothing more. I give it freely, with no expectations in return\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was no reason to refuse, and Tsunade did not expect her to. So Sakura lowered her chin to accept it.<\/p>\n

Tsunade brought her hand closer, and it was then Sakura noticed the swirling pattern that moved with the panes of the crystal. Like a whirlpool.<\/p>\n

Tsunade paused.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt is not from Konoha, as you may have guessed. It was retrieved from another country that perfected these types of sealing techniques. A country that long ago disappeared beneath the waves.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tsunade continued, gathering her fingers together, and pushed the crystal out to the tips of her fingers. Energy spiraled all around her hand. One by one, she pulled the rest of her fingers away, leaving the spinning diamond at the top of her index finger. Then she pressed her finger slowly into the center of Sakura\u2019s forehead.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The diamond sank into her skin like it was being pushed into water. Ripples of energy spiraled around and around above her skin, following the diamond where it had sunk down in the center like dropping into a whirlpool of chakra.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The spot tingled slightly on Sakura\u2019s forehead with the not-unpleasant feeling over over-warmed chakra. The stray hairs that had fallen out of Sakura\u2019s bun swayed with the force of the energy that was still moving around her. The air smelled pleasantly singed.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is a well of chakra for you to always be able to draw from. No matter who you encounter in life. No matter what path you find yourself on.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tsunade pressed her other fingers gently against her forehead, and Sakura felt the tingle of chakra from those too.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYour chakra is dangerously low,\u201d Tsunade said quietly, and Sakura instantly knew she was reading her energy levels. \u201cThis will prevent that from happening in the future.\u201d<\/p>\n

And then it was done. Tsunade lifted her fingers and inspected the mark.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When the glow disappeared, all that was left was a tiny diamond shape, the size of a fingertip, in the center of Sakura\u2019s forehead. It was the same color purple as the one on Tsunade\u2019s head.<\/p>\n

Already Sakura could feel the skin on her forehead beginning to cool.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tsunade rerolled the scroll, placed it beside the other on her desk \u2014 the unused apprentice contract \u2014 then returned to her seat.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRight now, your diamond is purple, identical to mine. But my chakra is only there to hold its shape.\u201d Her voice had the clinical tone of a doctor telling a patient about aftercare. \u201cOnce you begin to fill it, my chakra will disappear, and it will become completely your own.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura bowed. \u201cThank you, Tsunade-sama.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd Sakura,\u201d she began, but stopped herself. \u201cAre you\u2014 Are you certain this is what you want?\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura held Tsunade\u2019s gaze for a single moment. There was nothing calculated there. But it still seemed like it pained her. And Sakura didn\u2019t feel good about that.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But she was certain. She nodded once.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tsunade didn\u2019t let any expression show. She simply scribbled a note to herself to change Sakura\u2019s status.<\/p>\n

And Sakura had no doubt she would. Above all, Tsunade honored people\u2019s requests. Even when it disappointed her, as she knew this must.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But Sakura felt deeply \u2014 deeper than her distorted chakra form, deeper than all the unanswered questions, deeper even than whatever Chiyo had poisoned her with \u2013\u00a0that she no longer wanted her energy to be used by other people. Not even to heal. Not until she learned how to use it first.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll strike your name from the roster, and you will not be called up as a medic, in any capacity, unless you ask to be.\u201d Tsunade finished scribbling and looked up at her, tipping her head to inspect the seal.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnce it has completely cooled you should hide it with an appearance-shifting jutsu.\u201d She shifted her gaze back to Sakura\u2019s face and her tone changed to one of warning. \u201cIt is a mark of power. And though very few people would even know what it is, it could still be used against you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura couldn\u2019t stop herself\u2014 Her eyes went right to Tsunade\u2019s forehead, to the diamond so prominent there, and was already wondering why, if that was true, didn\u2019t she hide hers?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tsunade nodded along with her. \u201cI kept mine masked for many years, but as a Kage\u2026well, it sends a bit of a different message.\u201d Her lips curved up into knowing smile, acknowledging the ocean of power that she held at the ready, all the time. All in that little mark. Displaying it would impress their allies and threaten their enemies.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you know how to apply an appearance-shifting jutsu? You learned should have learned it in one of your academy classes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura nodded, although she was a little confused. It was simple, one of the first justus they learned. It didn\u2019t seem like something that would hide such a powerful mark.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood. This is a little different, but I have no doubt you can manage it. Instead of disguising your whole shape or a single aspect like your face, like you normally would with those types of disguises, just concentrate this jutsu right onto the edges of the diamond. As thin as you can getter. Thinner, even. Imagine it only to that line around the edge.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura nodded, listening, already trying to feel it out.<\/p>\n

Tsunade continued. \u201cAnd that little pool of chakra that\u2019s left inside, imagine it flattening inward. Just a bit, until it no longer sits on the surface. Until the diamond feels like it\u2019s made the tiniest depression in your forehead. Then release your normal chakra to cover it up. It will slip over and sit right on the surface. And no one will ever be able to detect it. Not unless they are extraordinarily proficient, and know exactly where to look.\u201d<\/p>\n

While Tsunade was speaking, Sakura remembered what it was like to be her student. To feel capable and be amazed by what she learned she could do.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Through those memories, the life she had before seemed to hover there before her. It felt like she could just reach out and grasp it, and step back into the way things had been.<\/p>\n

She certainly didn\u2019t feel that way after seeing all the powerful things Chiyo could do with her chakra. Sakura admitted had learned a lot there too. And in a twisted way, Chiyo had been right after all. She had become that old woman\u2019s student too. Whether Sakura wanted to or not.<\/p>\n

So even this gift, something that would have made her former self feel so proud and accomplished\u2026revealed that there was still so much she didn\u2019t know.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Chiyo had used that against her. Had broken her and used her as a weapon. And there was no way to go back to who she had been before. She banished the memories of her life before, imagining them disappearing into the air like dispelling a jutsu.<\/p>\n

Sakura cleared her throat and told herself again this was the right choice. The only choice. She bowed deeply. \u201cThank you Tsunade-sama.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tsunade looked across the desk at her, reading her face. \u201cIf there\u2019s nothing else,\u201d she said softly, letting the question hang in the air. Sakura hesitated, then shook her head. Tsunade shifted the two ancient scrolls to the far edge of her desk, ready to be returned to the darkness of the scroll room. The hush of paper on paper almost sounded like a sigh. \u201cThen, you\u2019re dismissed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Outside the door, Shizune was just coming up with tea and a pile of new scrolls.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They all knew the tea was just to soften the blow of what was sure to be hours of more work for Tsunade. But Shizune brought it, just the same.<\/p>\n

Sakura flashed a quick smile as she ducked past, anxious to get away. But Shizune\u2019s sharp eyes landed on her forehead\u2014<\/p>\n

Her normally warm smile grew wide.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo it\u2019s official,\u201d she said, beaming. \u201cTsunade named you as her apprentice! Congratulations\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura suddenly remembered the diamond on her forehead was still visible. \u201cNo,\u201d she said emphatically, pressing her fingers over the middle of her forehead, covering it.<\/p>\n

Confusion clouded Shizune\u2019s face. \u201cBut she gave you the seal\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

Sakura dragged her fingers over the spot on her forehead. It had cooled completely. \u201cIt\u2019s just a storage point for chakra,\u201d she said quickly. \u201cNothing more.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shizune\u2019s brows raised, a skeptical frown forming. \u201cOh it\u2019s much more than that, Sakura. It means she selected you as her apprentice. Her one and only. That diamond is a once-in-a-lifetime gift\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

Sakura cut her off with an emphatic shake of her head. \u201cNo, it\u2019s because I was careless with my chakra this last mission.\u201d She let out a self-conscious laugh. \u201cThis is just so I can be a better shinobi in the future.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shizune was quiet. Deep disappointment settled on her face.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura looked away. She\u2019d never known anything but positive support from Shizune. Of course, she would have known immediately that Sakura was lying. Rattled, Sakura tried to clarify.<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean, she did ask me if I wanted to be her apprentice,\u201d Sakura stammered. \u201cBut I told her I no longer wanted to be one\u2014\u201c Shizune\u2019s eyebrows rose even higher. \u201c\u2014A medic, I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura felt like she\u2019d only made things worse. But she realized her mistake. She was so focused on her conversation with Tsunade that she\u2019d forgotten that she\u2019d have to explain herself to other people as well. And even confront their disappointment.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura scolded herself inwardly. She should have been better prepared.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura calmed herself, repeating to herself that this what she chose, then let her voice slip to an emotionless monotone. \u201cI am not her apprentice. I told Tsunade-sama I no longer wanted to be a medic. She accepted my decision.\u201d<\/p>\n

The hallway was silent. Shizune was so still it was like she was frozen. And when Sakura dared to glance at her, her face had gone pale\u2026with anger.<\/p>\n

Sakura didn\u2019t expect the stab of pain at seeing her this way. She\u2019d never known anything but warmth and kindness and support from Shizune.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura gulped, resolve shaken to the core. \u201cShe told me to using an altering jutsu to disguise it. I just\u2026forgot.\u201d<\/p>\n

This stumbling answer didn\u2019t make anything better.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If Tsunade had felt the same, then she guarded her response. But Shizune was no village leader. She had no reason to to hide it.<\/p>\n

When she looked back at her friend, Shizune\u2019s face was cold. Closed off. Her mouth was a tight line. Her eyes were dark and hard. Everything about her said that Sakura had betrayed her. Had betrayed them.<\/p>\n

Without a word, Shizune turned, walked into the Kage\u2019s office and closed the door firmly behind her, leaving Sakura standing alone in the echoing silence of the hallway.<\/p>\n

Sakura blinked once at the closed door.<\/p>\n

Her eyes burned. Her chin began to crumple.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She was trapped in an unfair situation. Of course people would think the worst of her because of her decisions. Shizune would certainly not be the last one.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Emotion clawed at her throat. It felt unstoppable, like if she let it pour out she might not ever be able to get it to stop\u2014<\/p>\n

Sakura swallowed once, forced it back, and steeled her resolve.<\/p>\n

Sakura ran her fingers around the edges of the diamond-shaped seal, then lifted her fingers as Tsunade had instructed her, and felt her own chakra flooding in over the depression, hiding it. The mark disappeared completely.<\/p>\n

She took a shaky breath. It was gone. No one else would ever know. She could go on like it never happened.<\/p>\n

She buried her emotions. And closed her eyes on the memory of Tsunade\u2019s voice, Shizune\u2019s face. Both felt betrayed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But hadn\u2019t they betrayed her first?<\/p>\n

She let the cold answer rush in and settle between her bones so she wouldn\u2019t forget if it happened again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They would never understand. But she needed answers. And she would be hard and calculating until she got them.<\/p>\n

Sakura turned, squared her shoulders and left the Kage tower.<\/p>\n

\n

Shizune\u2019s anger only increased when she saw Tsunade standing at the window, looking out, standing with back to her.<\/p>\n

Shizune put the tea tray down hard, rattling the cups together. She grabbed the pile of scrolls off the tray and smashed them into the already full basket for incoming work.<\/p>\n

She was so angry, she dropped her hands to her hips, shook her head, then opened and closed her mouth a few times, grasping for the right words to let Tsunade know just what she thought\u2014<\/p>\n

But Tsunade put up a hand to silence her. \u201cIt\u2019s okay,\u201d she said quietly. \u201cIt was her choice, and I will honor that. No matter how much I wish it was otherwise.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tsunade wiped something that might have been a tear from her face.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut that doesn\u2019t make it right,\u201d Shizune pleaded. \u201cShe has no idea what it means or how important it is\u2014<\/p>\n

Tsunade said nothing. Shizune slammed her hand on the desk, making everything jump.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou gave her your seal! She doesn\u2019t even understand! That can only be given once! Passed down from teacher to student\u2014\u201c\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tsunade didn\u2019t argue so Shizune continued from a different angle. \u201cYou know, if she\u2019s lost her way, then you could just make her accept it. Order her to begin training\u2014<\/p>\n

Tsunade voice was soft but clear. \u201cNo. I would never force her\u2014\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Shizune swept aside that line of reasoning. \u201cI know how you feel about letting people have a \u2018choice,\u2019 but this\u2026. This is different!\u201d<\/p>\n

Tsunade still just shook her head.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Exasperated, Shizune looked over the desk as if somewhere there would be an answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you even sure it\u2019s her? Maybe you could still find another one\u2026. Another chakra-wielder\u2026. An even more-talented med-nin than Sakura\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. There won\u2019t be another one. It was meant for her.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tsunade blew out her breath. It fogged the window for a moment. Finally, she looked back over her shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd as for her being my apprentice\u2026. It appears I was too late. Again\u2014\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d Shizune\u2019s voice was a half-cry. \u201cThis is not the same as that time<\/i>.\u201d Her voice was suddenly thick with emotion. \u201cWhen Dan died\u2014\u201d Shizune\u2019s voice closed up on the name of her brother and Tsunade\u2019s long-lost fiance.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tsunade sighed. \u201cI know.\u201d She glanced at Shizune with sisterly tenderness. She poured them both cups of tea and nodded thanks. \u201cI just had no idea Kakashi would take them. They\u2019re kids. Well\u2026I guess they aren\u2019t kids anymore. But had I known what they were doing, I would have given her the seal before she left, made it official\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

Shizune sipped once on the cooling tea and considered everything. \u201cDid something happen to Sakura on the trip?\u201d<\/p>\n

Tsunade shook her head \u201cNot that she will tell me. I checked her chakra while I applied the seal. She was clean. No traces that I could detect.\u201d She sighed. \u201cBut they did relay one piece of good news. Chiyo is dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shizune looked at her stunned. \u201cAre they certain?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tsunade nodded.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eyes never leaving Tsunade\u2019s face, Shizune set the cup back on the tray. Her voice dropped to a low whisper. \u201cDo you think Sakura found out about what happened\u2026.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She leaned closer, as if she didn\u2019t even want the walls to hear her. \u201cBetween you and Chiyo\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

Tsunade cut her off sharply. \u201cDon\u2019t say it! Not even in here!\u201d Tsunade looked around the room warily too, as if the walls really might be listening.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

After a moment, she returned to the firm controlled tone of the Kage.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no way of knowing anything that woman<\/i> said, if Sakura won\u2019t tell me.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut it doesn\u2019t matter. If she\u2019s finally dead than that history is buried with her. There\u2019s no one left who even remembers.\u201d She smiled briefly, a flicker of triumph in her face. \u201cIt\u2019s like it never happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

Unconvinced, Shizune nodded slowly.<\/p>\n

Tsunade looked over her desk at the note reminded herself to strike Sakura from the med-nin roster.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo\u2026I accepted that she did not want to be my apprentice and gave her the seal as a gift. Nothing more. I hope she never has to use it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tsunade\u2019s gaze caught on the note where she had written the words Itachi said.<\/p>\n

Itachi has already caught his\u2014<\/i><\/p>\n

If it was about who she thought it was \u2014 the boy, the supposed Kage\u2019s son, stolen by Itachi years ago \u2014 then it might just prove to be another time she was too late.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She swore under her breath.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If the boy was still alive, however, then there was still hope. But for how much longer\u2026.<\/p>\n

She crumpled the note in her fist. Shizune looked like she might have said more, but Tsunade stopped her with a raise of her fingers.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere is no sense in dwelling in the past. Not when there is still so much to be done in the here and now.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She pulled her chair back, sat down, and reached deep under her desk into a hidden compartment. After a few moments, she fished out a slim scroll.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The scroll was housed in an intricately carved case, with red tassels on either end. A fat jade frog squatted in the center, forming the closing mechanism. It looked like an ancient treasure that would have been better suited to a museum display than being shoved in an over-stuffed desk.<\/p>\n

But Tsunade didn\u2019t seem to care. Without even looking at it, she flicked back the carved frog and flattened the parchment with one hand. She began writing, not with the practiced hand of a Kage, but in a fast, sloppy, sideways scrawl of a personal note.<\/p>\n

When she was done, she snapped it closed again, laid her hand over the jade frog and murmured a few words. The frog\u2019s deep green eyes seemed to shine before the whole thing disappeared in a puff of smoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get back to work,\u201d she said.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

The weeks after her return, Sakura settled into a very different rhythm. Different than she\u2019d ever experienced before.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She fully recovered her strength. That was the easiest part. But she discovered she could no longer bear to be in places that were dark or closed up. She needed a window open. Just a crack, enough to feel a breeze on her skin or hear voices from outside. And she needed lights on. All the time.<\/p>\n

Sleeping without lights had proved to be impossible. Every time she closed her eyes, the dark walls of the cavern were closing in on her. Those flashbacks hadn\u2019t ceased, even after returning to her own bed, in her own apartment.<\/p>\n

So she turned on all the lights in her apartment. Then when she woke up, cold sweat on her brow, blinking into the space and not remembering where she was, it took less time to gasp for air and remember that she made it. She survived. She wasn\u2019t lost to the darkness with no hope of ever being found.<\/p>\n

Sasuke was supportive and he gave her space to let her work it out. She knew he wouldn\u2019t pressure her for answers. He wasn\u2019t like that. She knew that about him now and was grateful for it.<\/p>\n

That reason alone should have encouraged her to share her burden with him. It was an invitation to trust him, to deepen their bond. After all, by giving her space to talk about it when she was ready, Sasuke was proving how well he knew her too. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But every time she thought of confessing the truth about what happened \u2014 that she was controlled and used, she might have irrevocably hurt someone else and she might have destroyed part of herself to do it \u2014 all she could think about was how much closer they\u2019d become over the years. And telling him the truth might destroy that as well.<\/p>\n

She\u2019d have to admit she wasn\u2019t as strong as he believed. She\u2019d have to admit that there was something different about her. That he got it right when they were kids, when he was cruel and hateful. That maybe there was something wrong<\/i> with her. And that she really didn\u2019t know what she was doing.<\/p>\n

And maybe she didn\u2019t. None of this would have happened if she did.<\/p>\n

So every time she began to speak to him, those thoughts raced through her mind. Her breathing hitched, her throat closed up and it felt like walls were closing in. Her mistakes were becoming the cavern she was trapped in. And telling him would only make it worse\u2014<\/p>\n

Sakura liked where they were\u2026. As friends. As teammates. As something more\u2026. It had taken a long time to get there. And she didn\u2019t want Chiyo to take that too. Not when that woman had already taken so much.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sasuke would scan her face, ask a few questions about how she was, if she needed anything. And Sakura would smile back and say she was fine.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And if Sasuke saw an unreadable emotion flicker across her face as she turned away \u2014 a slip of the mask she so carefully crafted these days \u2014 then he never said anything.<\/p>\n

In her darkest moments, Sakura didn\u2019t know which would break her first: The secret itself or the guilt of keeping it from the one who knew her best in the village. And if she couldn\u2019t tell him, then she could never tell anyone.<\/p>\n

So she continued on, sleeping in small, fitful bursts at night. Avoiding questions during the day.<\/p>\n

Each morning she scrubbed her face, ignored the circles under her eyes, and tucked her hair into a loose, messy bun at the nape of her neck. It was the same hairstyle as when she left the cavern and came back into the light. She couldn\u2019t bring herself to braid her hair into a single uniform strand, the way she did when she was on active duty.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t know why. And she didn\u2019t want to find out. Maybe it was because she didn\u2019t want to look in the mirror and see the girl who nearly lost herself to the Sand looking back. It didn\u2019t matter, she told herself, because she avoided looking in the mirror these days anyway.<\/p>\n

When she first returned, Sakura thought she could slip back into her daily life unnoticed. Since it was a secret mission, she told herself, no one would know about it. So she wouldn\u2019t have to talk to anyone else about it\u2026.<\/p>\n

She couldn\u2019t have been more wrong. Word traveled fast that a few Konoha nins had executed a secret, daring mission. And that Sakura had killed an Akatsuki and saved a Kage.<\/p>\n

Everybody wanted to talk with her. There were head nods and shoulder pats of shinobi passing by on the street. Several of Kakashi\u2019s friends made approving comments.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood job, Haruno-san,\u201d Genma, the famed shinobi guard said as he passed by. His companions, each one a shinobi luminary in their own right, nodded sagely. They had formed the Fourth Kage\u2019s inner circle. His personal guard.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But Genma grinned around the toothpick cocked at the edge of his mouth, eyes twinkling, as if killing an Akatsuki was some kind of great prank. For him, maybe, she thought as she nodded back to them. She was just shocked that he even knew her name.<\/p>\n

\u201cHeard you and your teammates are going after the Akatsuki. Good,\u201d Ino\u2019s father Inoichi said quietly as he walked beside them for a moment. He was already moving away before Sakura registered his last words. \u201cKeep it up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Younger nins were less discreet. \u201cI heard she crushed the puppet guy with her bare hands!!\u201d<\/p>\n

After a few weeks, Sakura was getting good at ignoring the running comments. She wondered if this was the way it had been for Sasuke growing up in the village. She guessed it was, but she didn\u2019t want to ask in case it lead to more personal line of questioning. So she let the seemingly endless commentary roll off her.<\/p>\n

However, she got a very different response from the Anbu agents she encountered.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes she felt their eyes, watching her through their masks as they passed. There were no congratulations from them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She pretended she didn\u2019t see them, didn\u2019t notice their frosty behavior. But she was pretty sure her stiffening spine and her gaze darting anywhere but on them gave her away anyway.<\/p>\n

She wondered if they were suspicious of her. Killing an Akatsuki and saving a Kage were both incredible displays of power. Especially coming from a single person. Whatever file they kept on her, she was sure they\u2019d had to amend it.<\/p>\n

Or maybe they were resentful that they had been passed over. After all, Kakashi had taken their team on a mission that should have rightfully gone to the Anbu. Maybe even to Root, the secretive group within Anbu rumored to be filled with assassins and those with unusual powers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She felt their heavy gazes as they passed. They didn\u2019t have to speak. She could hear the questions in her head as if they\u2019d spoken them aloud.<\/p>\n

What else is she hiding? Her story doesn\u2019t make sense.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

And it didn\u2019t. But she never changed a single word of it.<\/p>\n

It was the same story she\u2019d told every single person since the first shaft of light fell across her in the cavern.<\/p>\n

She never gave a hint of her true worries: That she\u2019d put a monster into a foreign leader. That she replaced his entire life force with someone else\u2019s. That she herself had become the next puppet master by losing control of her chakra. Or that she might be dying of a poison that she had no hope of figuring out until it was too late\u2026.<\/p>\n

She needed answers. But before she spoke the first word of her problems to anyone else, she\u2019d find those answers for herself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura used her time off to search for anything that might help her understand what happened, what she was forced to do. Under the guise of running errands, she stopped by the library for a little while each day. The grocery trips, weapons sharpening, taking laundry to all be washed, every bit of that normal life she once had was now a cover so she could research things like poisons, puppet-master techniques and chakra devouring monsters.<\/p>\n

It would have been funny if the truth in what she was looking for wasn\u2019t so terrifying. Pouring through old books and scrolls at least let her mind focus on something other than flashbacks and empty worries for a little while.<\/p>\n

As a child in academy, the library had been a safe haven for Sakura. She made up for not being born into a shinobi family by studying harder than anyone else.<\/p>\n

So it wasn\u2019t completely out-of-the-ordinary that she was stopping by the library now. She made her visits brief \u2014 long enough to do research, but short enough to not draw any notice.<\/p>\n

She selected texts with seemingly disconnected titles. But hidden within each armful of books and scrolls were the documents she really wanted to see. A book on the history of the Sand. An essay about the origins of the puppet-master technique. A scroll about the most lethal poisons and their antidotes.<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t check anything out, so there was no record of what she was reading except for the scrapes through the thin coating of dust that coated the shelves. She laughed to herself when she saw them. If she needed proof she was safe there, then it was written in those clean lines. No one ever looked at these old texts.<\/p>\n

But she still wiped her hand down the dusty shelves anyway before she turned away, covering any trace she\u2019d been there.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The one thing she most wanted an answer about was the one thing she had no words to describe. The monster trapped inside Gaara. She didn\u2019t know what it was. She didn\u2019t know how she had ever trapped it again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sasori was trying to say something to her at the end, when his voice dwindled down to nothing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGee\u2014 Joon\u2014 Jin<\/i>\u2026.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But she couldn\u2019t remember. It was useless to try. The library\u2019s extent of knowledge on the subject of chakra-devouring monsters was sorely lacking. Mostly they had ghost stories.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She did find one scrap of information on Chiyo, in an old book titled \u201cThe Sand and its Resources,\u201d printed well before Sakura was born. A grainy photo showed Chiyo standing among several rows of the Sand\u2019s \u201cbrightest and finest.\u201d Sakura found one sentence about her in the lengthy caption:<\/p>\n

\u201cNext in the row is Chiyo-san, who has studied the best healing methods abroad and brought them home to the Sand to enrich another generation of students. Beside her is\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura squinted at the photo. Chiyo was younger, with darker upswept hair. The only similarity was the tunic. But then, they all wore the same tunics.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If she and Tsunade had the same teacher, then perhaps it was during her time abroad.<\/p>\n

She looked back at the photo, staring as if she might have been trying to burn a hole in the page. She wondered if Chiyo was still a healer then. Or was she already using the puppet master technique.<\/p>\n

Were her children still alive\u2026.or had she already turned their bodies into puppets?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Just how much of a monster was she there, in that grainy photo? Did she even know yet what she capable of?<\/p>\n

Sakura couldn\u2019t stop the slide of her thoughts into comparison. Could Sakura say the same thing about herself? She didn\u2019t know what she was capable. But others did\u2026. Other who could use her as Chiyo had\u2026.<\/p>\n

The air in the room suddenly felt like it going thin. Like she couldn\u2019t get enough in her lungs. The shadows on the walls seemed like they were growing closer, pushing in\u2014\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

All too familiar tendrils of panic were beginning to wash over her. She often woke in a cold sweat, but the flashbacks didn\u2019t bother her too much during the daytime. At least, not when she didn\u2019t intentionally think about them\u2014\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sakura closed her eyes against the feelings and snapped the book shut. Time to go.<\/i><\/p>\n

She took a calming breath \u2014 in through the mouth, out through the nose \u2014 then gathered her things to leave.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Seeing one of the little old women who staffed the library walking up, Sakura shoved her small stack of books to the end of the table. Just this once she\u2019d let someone else re-shelve them. She needed to get out of there, quickly.<\/p>\n

The woman picked up the book the top book. Thankfully she never once looked at titles, especially the one hidden in the middle \u2014 \u201cPoisons of the Five Great Nations.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSince you\u2019ve been coming here,\u201d she said, pointing at her with the top-most book. \u201cWe\u2019ve had more shinobi dropping by than we\u2019ve had all year!\u201d She grinned, sending her wrinkles rippling almost up to her white hairline.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura froze. The woman didn\u2019t notice. She laughed merrily and scooped up the rest of the decoy books.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, at least, since the last academy exam! They all think they can come in here and cram at the last minute\u2026.\u201d She kept chuckling to herself as she carried the books away, snug in her arms as if they were a baby.<\/p>\n

Sakura narrowed her eyes and looked around. She thought she\u2019d been discreet and that her research trips had gone unnoticed. But what if she was wrong?<\/p>\n

Stepping outside, Sakura stopped a moment and pretended to adjust her shoe. The angle of the sun cast shadows of the buildings in criss-crossing lines down the street. But there against the blue was the round outline of a body. She stood. The curving shadow was gone. Just the straight edges picked out the noon sun.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She frowned at the space. It could be nothing, just a guard off duty. Or it could be someone following her, watching what she was doing in her time off.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Whoever it was might even be going in afterward to see what she was reading.<\/p>\n

She snorted a humorless laugh. Good luck to them if they were. Maybe they\u2019d have better luck finding information.<\/i><\/p>\n

Walking back, she passed a shortcut to the Kage\u2019s tower. She glanced down it longingly. There were undoubtedly more documents in the scroll room there\u2026. Perhaps even ancient ones, in the farthest stacks. They might have all the answers she needed\u2026.<\/p>\n

Sakura sighed. Her green eyes scanned the curved yellow stones of the tower, going to the picture window at the top where the Kage\u2019s office was. Just beyond that window the slim door in the wall that led to the scroll room.<\/p>\n

All the answers she needed might be just beyond that door.<\/p>\n

But to get there, she\u2019d have to explain what happened. And why she needed to know.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She tapped a finger to her chin. Or I could just wait until no one was there\u2026. Then sneak in\u2026.<\/i><\/p>\n

She shook her head, clearing the thought.<\/p>\n

Neither option was appealing. And breaking in to the Hokage\u2019s office was a line she was not yet prepared to cross.<\/p>\n

Shrugging off the thoughts, she resumed her walk back to her apartment, taking more back roads and shortcuts now that she would never have taken before.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Lots of things that were once normal felt off-limits to her now.<\/p>\n

She had a recurring fear that something would happen, a wounded shinobi would suddenly fall across her path, and she\u2019d be forced to heal them. That her altered chakra would be somehow be revealed, and then everyone would see just how much she\u2019d been forced to change.<\/p>\n

She shook her head again. It wouldn\u2019t happen. It was just a ridiculous situation she kept replaying in her mind to torture herself, apparently.<\/p>\n

But it exposed a deeper problem.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She was bound to encounter someone, someday who needed to be healed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She blinked, forgetting her surroundings and seeing only a battlefield in her mind. Someone falling right in front of her. Did she push on, like the rest of her teammates, continuing the fight? Or did she stop and try to heal him?<\/p>\n

She blinked again. The mindscape of a littered battlefield was gone. The clear lines of the street returned.<\/p>\n

She wouldn\u2019t heal him, this imaginary soldier in her mind. Not on Konoha\u2019s streets. Not on the battlefield. She would let someone else do it. She\u2019d send him to the hospital. Or she\u2019d pass him off to the medic team that always came in at the end. She was just another shinobi. She was no longer a healer.<\/p>\n

And if she ever, ever found herself in a situation where she absolutely had to heal someone, then she swore to herself that she\u2019d do it in secret. She\u2019d disguise her chakra so completely that there was no more color to it. She\u2019d work to make it so thin that was just was an invisible layer between her skin and injured person. So that she could do what she needed with just a touch.<\/p>\n

Then she could heal instantly. Sakura narrowed her eyes. Or she could harm if she needed to. Whatever the situation needed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The image of a young Chiyo flashed through her mind. The comparison rose unbidden.<\/p>\n

Sakura swept it away. She\u2019d never be like her. She\u2019d use her abilities only as she saw fit.<\/p>\n

And to do that, she\u2019d never let anyone know again that she had the power to control her chakra. Not that it mattered much anyway, she thought with a small quirk of her lips.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Most people knew her as having med-nin training, like all other nins. So few people knew about her real healing prowess. Hardly anyone outside of her team\u2026. Just a few of their classmates. Ino, of course. And Shikamaru\u2026. Maybe.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So all she had to do was keep it hidden for a little longer. Then no one would even remember that she had anything other than standard medic training. She would be nothing special. No one would expect her to heal. And the questions about what happened in the Sand would eventually fade away.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura glanced up, suddenly realizing she was back at her apartment building. She scanned the sunny angles of the buildings around her. Everything looked cheerful and normal.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But it didn\u2019t make her feel better. Nothing did these days.<\/p>\n

\n

But another week later, the feeling of being followed became too intense to dismiss.<\/p>\n

It was as if the confirmation she got at the library that someone was watching her had only made everything worse. Now she felt that suffocating feeling all the time. Not just in dark rooms, closed-in spaces or late at night when she was trying to grasp the fleeting threads of sleep.<\/p>\n

Whether it was real or not, the ominous feeling shadowed her all the time now. Every dark corner became a hiding place. Her shortcuts became minefields.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura told herself that it couldn\u2019t be real. Or at least, it couldn\u2019t be happening all the time. That her mind was playing tricks on her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And though she could hide the slight tremble in her fingers from everyone else, the telltale signs of sleep deprivation were beginning to show on in the lines on her face, in the deepening circles under her eyes.<\/p>\n

Sakura knew she had to get this under control. At least until she could find out what was really going on.<\/p>\n

If she wanted to continue her research \u2014 she\u2019d expanded to scouring the old temples around the village and even out-of-the-way junk shops for old scrolls \u2014 then her options were few. Either stick to the alleyways and let fear gnaw at her. Or go right down the center of Konoha\u2019s busiest streets, plaster on a smile and speak to everyone that passed.<\/p>\n

Sakura was desperate to make it stop. And that desperation drove her back out into the open.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Employing Kakashi\u2019s strategy to hide in plain sight, Sakura timed it so that she was out on the streets when they were the busiest. And for a few days, it seemed like it might work\u2026.<\/p>\n

But she realized later she shouldn\u2019t have let her guard down. Not even in the middle of Konoha. Because there were many ways a ninja could strike you in a crowd. If they were talented enough.<\/p>\n

And the one that materialized in front of her one morning on her way to an old temple library was certainly talented enough.<\/p>\n

A lean Anbu agent appeared directly in her path, as if he\u2019d materialized straight up out of the ground. He was waiting for her, black eyes gleaming at her through the milk-white hawk mask. His body had the casual stance of someone with power. Someone who knew how to use it.<\/p>\n

On either side of them, the crowd was splitting and moving around him. It was as if they were suddenly on an island in the center of a river of villagers. Not a single person noticed them. They just slipped by.<\/p>\n

Sakura narrowed her eyes at the Anbu agent. He had trapped her in plain sight.<\/p>\n

Sakura\u2019s palms started sweating, even as ice slid through her veins. Her heart was pounding. Blood roared in her ears, blocking out all other sound. Her hands started shaking, just before the all-too-familiar feeling of invisible walls started pushing in on her, stealing her air. She was going to have a full-blown panic attack right there on the street\u2014<\/p>\n

\u201cInteresting mark you have there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura\u2019s breathing hitched. Her eyes widened. The Anbu noticed. He was trained to look for those tells. And she knew she\u2019d given him the confirmation he\u2019d been hoping for.<\/p>\n

Adrenaline-fueled anger slipped in, displacing the chokehold of fear. She glared at him, or what she could see of him, through the around the mask. She\u2019d reveal nothing else to someone like him. It was only then that she realized her hands had stopped shaking.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Anbu\u2019s shoulders bounced once with a silent laugh.<\/p>\n

He continued on as if she hadn\u2019t just given herself away. As if they both already knew what she was hiding.<\/p>\n

\u201cA gift. From the Hokage, of course.\u201d His voice was light and conversational, a ploy to make her feel comfortable. \u201cAnd with no strings attached? I saw no change of status for you in the roster. In fact,\u201d he tipped his head, \u201cyou went down a step. You are no longer listed as a medic. Just a shinobi\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura was dead silent. She should have expected Anbu to take an interest in her. Sniffing out anomalies in power was their specialty.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cInteresting,\u201d he said, as if she\u2019d answered him. He looked her up and down again, and then at her forehead before continuing with a conspiratorial grin, as if this was a friendly conversation. \u201cAnd don\u2019t worry. No one else can see it. I am Hawk. And I\u2019m an expert in seals very much like yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

She could hear the smile in his voice. She was cornered. She couldn\u2019t outright deny him. Lying to an Anbu, in certain settings, could be seen as treason.<\/p>\n

Sakura turned her head, looking bored by his line of questioning. \u201cIt\u2019s nothing. Just a fail-safe against running out of chakra.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is. And yet, it is so much more,\u201d he said smoothly taking a step towards her. \u201cIt\u2019s very useful. An empty chamber. To be filled with power. Your own\u2026. Or someone else\u2019s.\u201d He tipped his head so his eyes looked straight out at her, glittering as if he shared a secret with her. \u201cIt is a very powerful tool, in the right hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

Irritation sparked in her expression. \u201cAnd in the wrong hands?\u201d<\/p>\n

The smile returned to his voice. \u201cWe are both on the same side Haruno-san. Anbu has many more resources to someone of your skillset than just delivering scrolls.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura wanted to growl back at him. This was why he cornered her in the street and threw up some kind of disguising jutsu around them both. It was just another ploy to try to get her to join Anbu.<\/p>\n

She glanced around, wondering if they were being observed by the rest of his Anbu squad. But no one saw them. It was just a blur of people walking past, faces moving but none of seeing\u2014<\/p>\n

All except one. At the edge of the lane, one face looked in their direction. Kakashi.<\/p>\n

Hawk\u2019s voice brought her attention back. \u201cThe Kage who gave you that gift, she knows. She was in Anbu. As well as your sensei,\u201d he said, nodding with a jerk of his head over to where Kakashi stood.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kakashi was watching them with unwavering certainty.<\/p>\n

This time when Sakura glanced over, she understood how he\u2019d detected them. His headband was square across his forehead, exposing the sharingan eye that never stopped whirling. He had seen through whatever jutsu this was. Hawk didn\u2019t seem to care.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you want,\u201d Sakura snapped. \u201cI\u2019ve already told Anbu I\u2019m not interested. As for my seal,\u201d she looked at him suspiciously, \u201cunless you\u2019ve been eavesdropping on the Kage, then you shouldn\u2019t be able to detect it. I know enough about it to know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh I\u2019m not here for Anbu,\u201d Hawk replied pleasantly. \u201cNot officially. I\u2019m simply offering you an invitation to find out a little more about the new capabilities you\u2019ve been gifted with. If you\u2019d like to, that is.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked like she didn\u2019t believe him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs for your seal,\u201d he continued, voice still light, \u201cit is admirably hidden. No one can see it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen how did you\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cI am studying the seal-craft of the late Kage. The Fourth. That one was created by the Yondaime to help hold immense power.\u201d Hawk let the statement hang in there as if she should somehow understand something he wanted her to know from it\u2026.<\/p>\n

He stepped closer, peering at her through that eerie mask.<\/p>\n

\u201cLike the type of power you experienced in the Sand\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n

He watched her, reading her for confirmation. She froze instinctively, trying not to reveal anything. Which was probably also revealing. She gave up and glared back at him.<\/p>\n

He laughed softly behind his mask. \u201cIt\u2019s okay Haruno-san, keep your secrets. I know you have them. We all do. Incidentally, that level of distrust would also make you well suited to being an Anbu. Instead, I come with another gift. Like the one on your forehead, with no strings attached\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura was suspicious but listening. Hawk seemed pleased.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have questions. The answers you\u2019re seeking will not be found in libraries or temple scroll rooms.\u201d<\/p>\n

She knew then that he was the one following her.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I had to guess you encountered something you don\u2019t have a name for.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She blinked, an involuntary but affirmative response. He nodded and took another step closer. When he spoke again, his voice was lower, more serious.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou will not hear it spoken, nor read it on a page. The same Kage that first made that seal forbid it from being recorded. If you want answers within Konoha\u2019s walls, you will have to come to us. We can tell you what you want to know\u2026about what you\u2019re seeking\u2026and about your own abilities\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura narrowed her eyes. \u201cAt what cost.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo cost. But Anbu does not share their secrets with outsiders.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tsunade always offered choice. But there was a chill in Hawk\u2019s words. Sakura knew this divide. And she had always stayed on the shinobi side. In Anbu, there was no choice. You were a weapon, a tool to be used how they saw fit.<\/p>\n

\u201cConsider it an open invitation, Haruno-san,\u201d his voice was light and friendly again, \u201cshould you ever want to learn more about your rather unique abilities. I can help.\u201d<\/p>\n

She stared at him, suspicion and curiosity warring inside. But she didn\u2019t want to show her interest. So she said instead, \u201cHow would I ever find you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou won\u2019t.\u201d He tapped his hawk-shaped mask. \u201cI\u2019ll find you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He stepped back from her and the air shifted around him as if it was enveloping him. The light slanted, and he had disappeared into it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh and don\u2019t worry,\u201d his voice sounded from behind her, entirely too close. She had to stop herself from jumping. \u201cYou can tell your sensei your secret is safe with me.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t make Sakura feel any better.<\/p>\n

He laughed and was gone. Villagers flooded back around her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She stood unmoving. She glanced over and saw Kakashi cutting across the river of traffic and making his way to her.<\/p>\n

But it was another familiar voice that boomed beside her. \u201cOhayo Sakura!\u201d<\/p>\n

Iruka.<\/p>\n

Sakura wished she could get away, but she couldn\u2019t. A fresh wave of guilt washed over her.<\/p>\n

\u201cSakura, I\u2019m glad I caught you!\u201d Iruka said, beaming. Sakura tried not to cringe. \u201cWe\u2019ve heard all about your successful mission. Congratulations! Do you think you\u2019d have time to stop by and talk to some of the academy classes? I know they\u2019d love to hear first-hand about your experiences. Especially how you saved the Sand Kage!\u201d<\/p>\n

His voice was so full of enthusiasm it was as if he were imagining himself as another student.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura could feel herself shrinking back in response. She couldn\u2019t tell her old teacher that it sounded like a nightmare\u2014<\/p>\n

Thankfully, Kakashi stepped reached them just at that moment. \u201cMaybe another time,\u201d he said firmly. \u201cHaruno has a mission, per the Kage\u2019s request.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura\u2019s relief evaporated. She stared at him, certain he was lying, but then was even more shocked when Kakashi produced a scroll from the Kage. It was a formal Konoha mission scroll. He wasn\u2019t lying<\/p>\n

She looked at the scroll, uncertain if she should be happy about this, but if it got her out of lying to academy kids\u2026.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh! Another time then, Sakura!\u201d Iruka hurried off among the crowd.<\/p>\n

Once they were alone, Kakashi continued, lowering his voice a notch. \u201cLet me guess. Anbu extended a friendly offer to come have tea?\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura laughed in spite of herself. But she stilled it. She noticed he still held the scroll but hadn\u2019t yet given it to her. Maybe it was just a ruse after all. She took the opportunity to ask him something else.<\/p>\n

\u201cKakashi, you were in Anbu\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

He shrugged. \u201cI was in it and left it. I think I make a better teacher than tool.\u201d<\/p>\n

His eye scanned the rooflines out of habit, looking for the people he was speaking of.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut they are like all things in life. Good and bad. It\u2019s what you make of it. I honed many of my sharpest skills in anbu. I am grateful for that. But I lost my taste for being someone else\u2019s weapon.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sakura said nothing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey are interested because they want to find out what you know. And want to put that to their advantage. The interest will die down. Give it some time.\u201d He cut his gaze back at her. \u201cUnless you are interested in joining\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

She shook her head quickly. He smiled at her then. \u201cI didn\u2019t think so.\u201d<\/p>\n

The whole interaction felt so normal. But she didn\u2019t think Anbu\u2019s interest was just going to go away. Not after this.<\/p>\n

Kakashi looked at her face for a moment, then held the scroll back out to her. She tried not to grimace.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI took the liberty of getting you an assignment. You know, in case you needed to get some fresh air. Get out of the village.\u201d She nodded wordlessly. \u201cI thought you might need a break,\u201d he waved his hand lazily. \u201dYou know, from all this!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She lifted her hand, fingers open, but she didn\u2019t take the scroll, not yet. He understood.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s was an easy walk out and back, through allied territories, just to deliver a few scrolls and supplies.\u201d He smiled gently. \u201cI promise you, nothing interesting will happen.\u201d He added with a wink, \u201cAnd there will be no one to stopping you to talk about your last mission!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Kakashi-sensei,\u201d she said quietly, and accepted the scroll without looking up. \u201cI uh\u2026 I really appreciate it.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Her eyes were suddenly burning. She didn\u2019t know if it was because his unquestioning support made her feel slightly less alone. Or because it was the first honest thing she\u2019d said to anyone in weeks.<\/p>\n

\n

Kakashi was right. It was a beautiful trek through the Fire Country. Maybe it was just what she needed to clear her head and get back on track.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But when she got past the borders of her own country and saw her path through their allies\u2019 lands, she realized the path would take her directly through a few larger towns that were popular with shinobi. A knot formed in her stomach. She did not want to get caught up answering questions.<\/p>\n

So she slipped over to the smaller byways, taking a more quiet route through the strip of territories that ran beside her original route.<\/p>\n

These were sleepy hamlets, farms and forests. More creatures than trees. And their proximity to two allies meant they were safe to travel through.<\/p>\n

Out there, she could think. Be alone, take a breath.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Golden afternoon sunlit streamed down through the trees. Wind rolled through the canopy, leaves fell lazily around her. The open feeling that the breeze across her skin brought was the balm she had been yearning for since she escaped the cavern.<\/p>\n

It should have been a complete relief. But she still carried a burden she couldn\u2019t put down\u2026. In the beautiful silence, more thoughts intruded. Thoughts she had been able to hide from in the village.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She carried an immense amount of guilt for not telling Sasuke. And it wasn\u2019t just the caprices of their schedules that made her miss him. She admitted to herself that she had been actively avoiding him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sakura kicked a rock down the path. She didn\u2019t really understand why, but even though she tried, she just couldn\u2019t bring herself to share what happened in the Sand with him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She looked around. The sun was shimmering behind the trees. A bird settled on a branch behind her, cracking it loudly. She sighed and kept walking.<\/p>\n

Her relationship with Sasuke was a partnership of strengths. They never spoke about the things that were terrifying. They never spoke about the moments where they felt weak or vulnerable.<\/p>\n

She wouldn\u2019t even know where to start to tell him about what she\u2019d done. What she\u2019d been forced to do\u2026.<\/p>\n

She rubbed her hand over the back of her neck. Her palm was clammy. She wished it was from a sheen of sweat from exertion. She knew it wasn\u2019t. The signs of panic were showing themselves anytime she thought about what happened. If she had hoped she could contain it to nighttime hours, then she was failing.<\/p>\n

She took a few deep breaths, wiggled her fingers, rolled her shoulders trying to shake the clamp of stress that was beginning to take hold and kept walking.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

At this point, she didn\u2019t think anyone would understand her.<\/p>\n

A pair of brown eyes flashed in her memory. Fierce and unyielding. Pushing her on, never letting her give up.<\/p>\n

Biting her lip, Sakura looked down and considered kicking the small stone in her path. But she sighed instead, stepped over the rock and kept walking.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She was wrong. There was one person who would understand, she admitted to herself.<\/p>\n

The full figure of Katsuro materialized out the darkness of her mind. His memory stood there, arms folded, watching her in the cavern. The tension she\u2019d been carrying in her neck unhitched a bit just thinking about him.<\/p>\n

Katsuro wouldn\u2019t look at her as a healer who was able to save a Kage. Or as a powerful shinobi who took down an Akatsuki. Or as an anomaly or an assassin or a puppet master or worse.<\/p>\n

He would just see her. She was sure of it.<\/p>\n

Birds shot out in unison from the canopy behind her. Sakura turned her head at the sound automatically, not really disturbed by it. It was the same sound she\u2019d been hearing all afternoon in these woods\u2014<\/p>\n

But something flickered at the edge of her vision. A pebble flew past her, then bounced down the road.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She blinked at it, startled. It was the small round stone she\u2019d stepped over. But she didn\u2019t kick it. It was as if someone threw it at her.<\/p>\n

She stopped in the middle of the road. Her blood slowed in her veins. The sounds. Someone had been following her\u2014<\/p>\n

Some part of her panic-addled brain screamed that she\u2019d let her guard down. She\u2019d been stupid enough to think that everything could go back to normal. So she\u2019d left herself open.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Her palms were clammy again, fingers starting to tremble.<\/p>\n

This is it, she thought breathlessly. Someone from the Sand tracked her down. Somehow, they\u2019d found out what she\u2019d done\u2014<\/p>\n

Another pebble flew past, accompanied by a soft chuckle from somewhere in the woods behind her\u2026.<\/p>\n

Sakura blinked at the golden road as it wound through the woods. She only knew one person who would do such a ridiculously stupid thing as sneak up on a shinobi and throw things at them.<\/p>\n

Tears sprang to her eyes, and she could barely keep her watery smile down. Wasn\u2019t this exactly what she was thinking?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In the breath of time it took her to tip her face up toward the tree limbs and begin scanning for his hiding spot, she had already decided she\u2019d forgive him for whatever it was that kept him away.<\/p>\n

That golden feeling of being around him rushed through her. She wanted to see him. Needed to see him. Katsuro\u2026.<\/p>\n

She tucked back the loose strands that had slipped from her bun and started to turn in a slow circle. She could already hear the excuses, see him pleading earnestly for her to believe him that he couldn\u2019t get away until it was safe, and then begging her to tell him everything. And it felt right. So right. Like throwing open long-shuttered windows and letting light into the darkness.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And maybe she would\u2026maybe she would tell him everything\u2026.<\/p>\n

So when she heard the voice, she was already grinning wide, cheeks flushed, eyes shining with unshed tears as she turned back\u2014<\/p>\n

\u201cSakura Haruno\u2026. I have been looking for you everywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\n\t<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The sun was warm in Tsunade\u2019s office. Everything looked familiar, felt familiar, even smelled familiar. It was comfortable\u2026and yet somehow deceptive. It kept playing tricks on Sakura\u2019s mind. It made her feel like nothing had changed.\u00a0 But Sakura knew, standing in this office, she had to confront the truth she\u2019d been avoiding for days. Everything […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3960","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-a-voice-in-the-wind","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5hctF-11S","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/swirlingpetals.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3960","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/swirlingpetals.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/swirlingpetals.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/swirlingpetals.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/swirlingpetals.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3960"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/swirlingpetals.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3960\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3979,"href":"https:\/\/swirlingpetals.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3960\/revisions\/3979"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/swirlingpetals.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3960"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/swirlingpetals.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3960"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/swirlingpetals.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3960"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}