Chapter 18 preview

Author’s note: Just a preview of the chapter. I’ll post the rest in full (here and on ff.net), plus the notes, in the early part of next week. But aside from minor edits, this part is finished. So happy weekend reading!

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From Chapter 17: “Sakura,” came a warm voice in front of her. She snapped her head up so quickly she nearly collided with the battered straw hat. But instead of the old farmer, she found herself looking into a smooth, young, very familiar face.

Warm brown eyes shined at her. The corners of his mouth curled up into an easy smile.

“Ka-Katsuro?” she said in breathless astonishment. Her eyes, lit with recognition, darted across his features.

Where folds of skin had been before, his face was smooth and clear. The only lines now were the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, the happy side-effect of his bright smile.

Faint brown freckles mottled his cheeks and dusted his nose. His chestnut hair looked very much the same, just a little more unruly. Dark licks fell over his forehead, but the curls peeking out under the back of the straw hat were burnished gold by the midday sun.

Sakura looked back to his eyes. Still large and brown, nothing distinguishing. But they held a measure of warmth for her — just for her — that was strangely comforting.

Even though she’d spent so much time trying to forget her experience, one look at him scattered her doubts.

He was happy to see her. Delighted. Thrilled. It was perfectly clear.

She swallowed dryly. She could feel her cheeks turning pink from the heat.

With growing certainty, she discovered she was happy to see him too. In spite of everything.

A soft smile curved her mouth before she could think to stop it.

Katsuro bit down on his bottom lip, trying to contain his widening grin. He could guess her thoughts.

Hand still curled around her wrist, Katsuro gently brushed her skin with his thumb. He was in as much disbelief as she was. And he held her arm as if making sure she were real.

The gentle sensation sent a shock wave through Sakura, though. It brought her back to reality.

She glanced over his ridiculous appearance, the shabby clothes and the strange gear. Something else was going on here. It chilled her, despite the suffocating heat, and her open expression closed.

Slipping her wrist from his grasp, Sakura stepped back and scoured the countryside. Her hand dropped reflexively to her thigh kunai.

“Oh no,” Katsuro said quickly, waving his open palms at her. He leaned into the rickety cart, nearly toppling it over again.

“There’s nobody else,” he said, clamping a hand on the cart and jumbling his excuses. “I mean, it’s just me….”

She scanned the field behind him as if he hadn’t spoken, lips pinched, eyes sharp. She shifted her gaze to the road, the other fields, never turning her back on him.

“I mean,” he began again, taking a breath and choosing his words a little more carefully. “Don’t worry, I’m by myself. There is no one from my group with me. In fact, you’re the only person I’ve seen all day.”

Sakura stayed alert. He wasn’t sure if she’d heard him. But after a moment, her shoulders eased. She slowly swung her gaze back to him.

Katsuro smiled broadly.

“I can’t believe it’s you,” he breathed.

“You look so different,” he continued, eyes dipping down in a way that made the corner of her mouth twitch with irritation.

“But I saw your hair right off,” he said, dragging his gaze back up to linger at her collarbone, then moving slowly to the top of her head. “It’s longer,” he finally decided, smiling his approval, but he didn’t break off his admiration.

Warmed by the sun, her hair moved just then in some slight, unseen breeze.

It stirred a vague memory.

There was a funny way Katsuro had about him, an undeniably reassuring presence. She relied on him in her darkest time, when hope was lost, and he had not failed her. She remembered feeling that, somehow, everything was going to be alright.

The memory sharpened, seemed to become tangible for a moment. Seeing him now, in front of her, it was as if time hadn’t passed.

Fragrant summer air swirled warm around her. Her hair ruffled distractingly against her throat.

She blinked, refocusing on Katsuro, but his small smile of reassurance jarred her.

All at once, the feeling of being perfectly safe washed over her. His laughter rang in her ears. For an instant, the air shimmered around them, and the barley field seemed to dissolve in a golden haze.

But when she blinked again, the feeling was gone. The subtle shimmer had vanished from the fields. And Katsuro was watching her, patiently waiting for some unknown response.

She grasped at the memory, but couldn’t place it. It tantalized, staying just out-of-reach, like a forgotten dream.

Sakura frowned to herself. Was it the heat? A it trick of the light? Then another thought seared her.

‘A genjutsu.’

She tipped her head and shot him a hard look.

‘No,’ she decided. Whatever she felt, he was oblivious to it. Katsuro simply grinned back at her.

Sakura drew in a deep breath to clear her mind, sure now that she had been out in the sun for entirely too long.

“Well? What about me?” Katsuro said in mock exasperation. He threw his arms out wide, flapping the ridiculous oversized jacket around him. “Do you think I’ve changed?”

“No,” she said, chuckling at him in spite of her distracted feelings. “Not a bit.”

“Yeah, I guess not,” he said, laughing loud enough for both of them.

Sakura tucked away her smile. She should have known she’d see him again. Some time.

She glanced up the road, trying quickly to decide what to do. Should she stand and visit — did she really want to visit with him? — or should she just get on with her mission.

Her mission. She nearly groaned aloud. She certainly couldn’t tell him.

Katsuro watched her from hooded eyes.

She had changed. Taller, longer, there was the hint of something feminine now. Not just that slip of neck. She seemed to exude it, in the way she stood. The way her arm draped over her stomach. The way her fingers wrapped gently around the loop of her kunai.

He drew a long breath, rubbed a calloused hand over the back of his neck. Just seeing her was like throwing open a window he never knew was closed.

Her hair was longer too, he noted, hanging just over the edge of her shoulders. The tips swung gently as she looked up the road.

It conflicted with the mental image he carried of her. He remembered her shorter locks, flipping up at the ends, feisty and careless. Defiant. But seeing her again, he realized what a toll it must have been on her. They were dusty, sweaty and exhausted for most of their time together.

Now her hair was radiant, layer upon layer of pink. Rose-hued locks lay close against her neck. But the curls that still refused to stay tucked behind her ears were pale from hours in the sun.

The length changed her face a bit, made it seem longer, fuller. Or maybe it made her eyes seem bigger. But then again, maybe it wasn’t her hair that had changed, but her. She was two years older now.

He scratched distractedly at his smooth chin. He wondered if he looked more manly.

She turned back to him suddenly, pinning him with her green gaze. He forgot what he was thinking about.

Those eyes, he sighed inwardly. He felt a little exposed. He remembered the last night, the shimmering genjutsu, memorizing her face…and those eyes.

There was just something about her. She was different. She looked at him, and he remembered feeling like the things he did mattered. Like he mattered.

Seeing her again, after so much time, brought up an ache within him, sharp and sweet. He’d never had a connection to anyone, except Itachi. But the way he felt about her, well there was no comparison. He’d never felt that way about anyone. He didn’t have words for it. Was it friendship or something more?

He just knew he’d have done anything to pull her out of the hell of dying at Itachi’s hands. Katsuro gritted his teeth at the memory. No, time had not diminished his resolve to protect that bond.

But that was in the past, he thought, relaxing the sudden tightness in his shoulders. With a blink, he banished the dark thoughts.

She was here, in front of him among the sun-drenched fields — happy and confident, and safe. And it stirred completely new feelings. Made him yearn for things he couldn’t have.

Katsuro’s gaze drifted over her face, settled on her big green eyes, and he made a snap decision. He wasn’t just going to let her walk away, disappear from his life again like that terrible night. No, he’d turn everything upside down to hold on to this a little longer.

“So…What are you doing out here,” he blurted out. “I mean, this far out of the Fire Country?”

Sakura frowned suddenly, startled by his directness. She refused to answer.

“Oh,” he said in slow understanding. “Are you on a mission or something?”

She raised an eyebrow, fixed a calculating look on him, but still said nothing.

“Are you going to the town, then?” he said, thumbing in the direction he just walked up from.

With a huff, Sakura looked away, glaring instead at the field beyond his opposite shoulder.

‘He knows damn well where I’m was going,’ she thought, irritated. But he’d get no confirmation of it from her.

“It’s ok, I understand,” he quickly reassured. “You don’t have to say anything.” He leaned toward her a little, shifting the cart to a precarious angle.

“But, can I at least walk with you?” he said haltingly.

His face held such a mix of uncertainty and hope as he looked up at her, that Sakura was completely thrown.

“W-What?” Had she heard him right?

“If you’re going that way, can I walk with you? ”

Sakura gaped at him until faint pink blotches stained his cheeks.

“But you were—” she stumbled over her words, pointing back the other way.

“I don’t have anywhere else to be,” he said, straightening, throwing his hands back with a broad grin.

But the sudden movement pitched the cart away, and it took every bit of his honed reflexes to keep it from toppling. He darted forward and caught the crumbling wooden side with his fingertips before the contents lurched out.

Hands firmly on the cart, Katsuro raised back up and flashed Sakura another bright, disarming smile.

She frowned back, but her good reasoning had already abandoned her.

She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t wondered about him. She trusted him once. And here he was, right in front of her, making it seem so easy to trust him again.

Sakura looked back into his glittering brown eyes. Katsuro rocked forward lightly on the balls of his feet, waiting, hopeful. She sighed.

“Well, just for a little while,” she said slowly. What was she thinking.

But he beamed at her. And she found she had to bite the inside of her lip to keep from smiling back.

In an instant he wheeled his cart around and fell into step beside her.

They walked side-by-side, in silence. She stole a glance at him. He still looked just as she remembered him. Perhaps a little taller, but very much the same. Except for that silly grin. That was new. But she remembered him to be naturally happy. Energetic. Even now, walking back into the town he just came from, in the blazing heat. It didn’t even faze him.

‘This is crazy,’ she told herself. ‘He’s also in a disguise. With a cart full of weapons.’

What was she thinking.

He’s a rogue ninja. Working for Itachi. If anyone saw her with him, made the connection…. This had to stop.

She halted suddenly and turned to face him. Katsuro unwittingly mirrored her actions.

“I—” they both began at the same time. Sakura pressed her lips into a thin line while he smiled even wider. When she didn’t continue, he did.

“I had hoped to see you again. Just to see you, make sure you got home ok. I didn’t know…. But here you are, out on your own. Now, I can not only see you but talk to you too, at least for a little while.” He beamed at her, then furrowed his brow, “But you were going to say something.”

Sakura was speechless. Her line to throw him off was a jumble.

“I was…” she refocused her gaze to look him in the eyes.

“I, uh…” but she faltered again. His bright eyes were taking in her face. He was studying her too. She paused, then regrouped, and pushed her lips together. He smiled a little brighter in response.

“What?” he said, softly, expectantly.

He was nothing like the rogue shinobi she remembered him to be. He acted as if they were old friends, catching up.

She knew it wasn’t a lucky break that she escaped from Itachi. Katsuro had laid everything on the line to help a prisoner. When her own team hadn’t come for her, he was the teammate she’d never had.

Teammates. Was that the feeling that she blamed herself for these past two years? The guilt she couldn’t quite seem to shake?

She had forged a bond with an enemy nin when she couldn’t even find it with the ones she was supposed to protect. It was why she was out here by herself in the first place. 

She shook her head and looked down, smiling ruefully at her own discomposure. He grinned, tipping his head toward the sky to laugh at their awkwardness.

This little act drew from her the first real smile.

She knew he didn’t understand what she felt, but his good streak reminded her that her trust had not been misplaced.

It was the same reasoning she relied on in her captivity, hoping his good nature would persevere. And in the end, he didn’t let her down.

Well, if she could trust him as an enemy in an enemy camp, she told herself, she could probably handle a brief walk with him on an empty road.

Finally having come to some decision, she looked back with a smoother countenance.

“I can only go with you to the edge of town,” she said with a professional edge, “then we have to part ways.”

“Yes, of course,” he replied emphatically. “And if anyone approaches, from in front or behind, you stay on course and I’ll do my best farmer imitation and limp off.”

Accepting the compromise, she began walking again when the next obstacle presented itself. What would they talk about? 

But her worry was only momentary, Katsuro fired off questions about her shinobi life, medic and defense training. She could only get in a quick response before he would jump to another question with a “Hey, what about….”

Sakura was lightly amused until he asked about her emotional wellbeing with her bastard teammate and the other one…. Katsuro stopped there, scratching his head in thought.

“What was his name…. The robot!” he said finally. 

Sakura burst out laughing before she could stop herself. Katsuro just grinned as wide as the sky.

“How do you remember these things?” she said, slanting her eyes at him with a smile.

“I told you, I’ve wondered about you,” he returned easily.

She sighed. She could not say the same. When she had thought about him, it was as if he was still frozen in those moments when he encouraged her, his face illuminated by firelight. But she had no sense of what he did before or would do after her time with him.

“What about you? What have you done?” she refocused.

“Nothing much to tell,” he shrugged and carelessly looked out across the yellow field. “I just follow orders.”

The dusty road blurred under her feet. She remembered now, why she had no other frame of reference for him: He never offered her any information about himself. The few times she had the presence of mind to ask, he carelessly deflected the questions and returned the focus back on her. Now, in a much less desperate state of mind, that disparity of information stood out.

This was exactly what she expected of a shrewd nin, not the easy friend he presented himself as. She wanted to scratch a little beneath the surface, see which was real.

Sakura was poised to ask, but she heard Katsuro’s voice instead of her own. 

“This is where I have to leave you,” he said, attention fixed wistfully ahead of them. Roofs and structures were just peaking over the rise in the road.

“What?” She frowned, looking up. Were they here so soon?