Author’s notes:
At long last…. Sorry about the wait. But to make up for it it’s a huge chapter. Even by my standards! lol. But I didn’t want to skimp on the fight and kissing scenes. The Jizo and diplomat scenes I’d already written a long time ago, so I didn’t want to let go of those…. Combine that with writing in little bits over the last several months, and you have a really long chapter! But I hope you enjoy….
Chapter notes:
• the Jizo statues — the Jizos I described are real. It sounds crazy, but I wrote a scene about forest Jizos, covered with moss, only to do a google search much later to make sure I had the right idea about them…and found some of the little statues exactly as I imagined. Look up Jizos at the Sanzen-in Temple in Kyoto. You’ll see what I mean! But the larger Jizo came from my first-hand experience at the Freer Gallery in DC. A lovely statue that fills you with peace, no matter what your beliefs or cultural background is. I tried to convey that feeling here in Sakura’s experience. I hope it came across.
• Katsuro in the Stone Forest — the inspiration for this landscape comes from the Stone Forest in China. I made it a lot more desolate and barren for Katsuro though! 🙂 It is meant to be the opposite of Sakura’s experience.
• A foot slid into the stream, and fresh water rushed over the top of his boot. “Dammit,” he muttered, sloshing onto a steadier rock and kicking out the water. — Opposite of Sakura happily kicking dew off the toes of her shoes. Katsuro is soggy and miserable.
• He knew this was the life of a shinobi. His life, the one he so desperately wanted as a child. But damn if he didn’t wish he could change it…just for a moment. — In the manga, Naruto never has to choose between desire and obligation. But Katsuro does. So here he still has his same beliefs, but his choices come with tough sacrifices.
• He wasn’t happy that Wei would be so close to her. But he remembered her words from a before. She was a shinobi. She could handle herself. He had to trust in that too. — important to put in there. He believes in Sakura. He knows she’s not weak. It’s his own fears that are scary, not her inabilities. This theme will come back later.
• The wax seals were thick, meant only to be opened by the recipient. Katsuro knew the rules — never, never, never open a scroll…it ruined the deception — but was far beyond caring. He ruthlessly tore them open, scouring each one then ripping open the next. — Again, a big point is made in the manga to never open scrolls. But Katsuro’s loyalty is to Sakura, not anyone or anything else. So he snaps them open without hesitation.
• He pushed hard off the last cliff, letting the chakra swirl down his legs. The rock cracked from the force. But he stayed focused on the trees ahead, aiming for the biggest branch, he— Suddenly the trees were coming too fast. — So Katsuro doesn’t realize how much power the kyuubi’s chakra contains. This whole event pushes him to use more and more. Awakening a new level of understanding of his own powers.
• “Never underestimate a kunoichi. Do you know why? Because they’re women…or girls. As the case may be….” He unsnapped his cloak with a flourish, folded it and set it on the ground. “They know they have been dealt the weaker hand. So they have everything to lose.” He smirked. “You should expect a fight to the death.” — So first off, Wei’s just a jerk. He’ll say anything to provoke anyone. His specialty is knowing what sets people off, to bribe them or defeat them. Second, the bit about the fighting was from a combat expert talking about his opponents. He always took the smaller man more seriously because he knew the deck was stacked against him. And he was ready to give that much more to win. Same applies to women.
• The diplomat’s house — So tying all this together, Sakura’s diplomat is being bribed to be a middle man. That’s why Katsuro had the red-tasseled scroll as well. It’s not the same scroll, just going to the same person.
• His guest, a handsome man in cream silks, flashed him a broad, curving smile. “Yes it is a very unique opportunity….” The guest’s smile grew wider, rippling up a dashing half-moon scar at the top of his cheek. — All the traits describing the handsome politician from the cherry blossom festival. He’s not evil, he’s just always looking out for the best deal. He doesn’t know what is happening with Sakura, just that he wants to get his offer in before Konoha’s. Whatever it might be.
• Poised over a plate of peach buns, the cream sleeve of the guest stilled for a moment. … The guest relaxed and gathered up the length of fabric from the arm of his silk robe to reach over the buns for another temptation. — So, when Sakura was attending the diplomat at the cherry blossom festival, the handsome politician chose a peach bun for her. But in this instance, he is passing over the peach bun for another temptation. Figuratively, he’s found a better offer than what he thought Sakura had.
• “I’m not going to leave you. I’ll get you…” his voice hitched, “home…. Even if I have to carry you.” — Same words he said to her when outside Itachi’s tent. “I’m not going to leave you.”
• “C’mon. We’ll do it together.” He turned around, offering her his back. — another sentiment he said then.
• Once he knew it was her, the slim map in his sack filled in the rest of the picture. The line of hold-outs, her missions, were dashed off in thick red lines. They were his jobs now, and they ran through the center of the map like a wound, cracking it in half. For them, it was an unbridgeable gulf. — So the color red is like a little “red thread of fate,” but theirs is twisted. The red of the tassels and the red dashes on the map. Both have to do with them, but the connotations aren’t so good.
• Sakura was still depending on him, although she’d never know it. By fulfilling these missions, Katsuro would make sure Itachi never suspected her. — Katsuro doesn’t realize it, but he is making the “silent sacrifice” to Sakura that she made to those kids and to protect Sasuke back in the beginning. Katsuro though it was foolish the, but now he’s doing it too, and gladly.
• As long as she stayed inside Konoha’s walls she’d be alright. — a twist on his development. He used to hate Konoha’s walls, but now he doesn’t think they’re such a bad thing, especially if they keep her safe.
Spoiler notes:
• About the title — The title “Cracked” could be taken as a bookend to the Chapter 18 – “Whole.” Or it might just be a ruse, and the real dramatic break up chapter has yet to occur….
• It was important to open with the scene in the forest, because of it’s connection to their kiss at the end. But more importantly, the place is sacred, hallowed. And in their memories, that spot will be like a temple. When everything else is gone, even what they believed about each other, that place will still be sacred. Still untouched by time…. Reinforcing the theme from the painting…. 🙂 And the descriptions of the Jizo, his peaceful understanding, and the offerings left by other people foreshadow events to come for Sakura. She see it as lovely and mysterious, but her life will one day be touched by sadness. And then the statue will become a comfort for her too.
• “Itachi said since you enjoyed traveling you could handle these as well.” The captain dropped a round-bottomed knapsack beside him. Katsuro looked in, jostling the dozen or so scrolls inside, before gaping up at the captain in utter confusion. — Katsuro doesn’t catch it, but Itachi is well aware of his travels last summer. The signs are there, but Katsuro only sees them in part. For now.
• He felt like hurling it into the fire. But he couldn’t. This was his life, his responsibility as a shinobi. If he was assigned it, then he had to do it. — So Katsuro may be working for the wrong group, but he takes his job seriously. This is his ninja way, just like Naruto’s in canon. But he’ll make some different choices throughout this chapter.
• Wei locked eyes with Katsuro, but this time there was no smile. Instead he pivoted smoothly, turning his back to Katsuro and continued his conversation in a whisper. — Wei is just being a jerk to Katsuro. He doesn’t have any specific inside information pertaining to Katsuro, he just likes to thwart him whenever he can. It’s a dangerous quality and will resurface later, when he does have info to hold over his head!
• The second flung out his nunchucks for a sideways strike to her exposed side. Sakura easily blocked it with her forearm, grabbing the wooden baton and holding it long enough to crack it in her grasp. — Sakura hasn’t had training for Tsunade yet. Medical training, yes. But not the earth-shattering techniques the Tsunade knows. Those will come in the future.
• The bits of information gathered from overheard conversations and from things Itachi himself had said were all like scattered pieces of a much larger picture. — In the end, Katsuro says specifically that now he sees the bigger picture. He knows all the pieces. So this thought early on is important.
• The last shipment, a caravan of high-grade metals, would out do all the rest. … But that’s were things got exciting. — Katsuro doesn’t hate what he does. In fact he kind of likes it. He just likes Sakura more.
• He blinked, seeing the forest in bloody daylight, and he thought he understood. The kyuubi thought its host was in danger. And Katsuro had tapped into that power, just as Itachi had said he would. When he needed it most. — Katsuro’s view is a little simplistic. It’s not that easy. The chakra has come because of his selfless desire to save Sakura. Not for his own needs. He won the tug of war now…but it won’t always be this easy.
• About the fight scene — It was important for Sakura to be in control and stand her ground. Katsuro swooped in at the last moment, but she had by no means given up. In fact, Sakura never mentions Katsuro, never hopes it’s him coming to save her, or thinks about him in the fight at all (save for one moment). This was intentional. She drew on her actual training with Sasuke and Kakashi for laying her traps. She is, after all, a Konoha nin. Katsuro just gave her the courage to be a better one. She’s fully capable of fighting on her own. She was overpowered, but even then she still wasn’t giving up. (Like I said, Sakura’s flaws in this battle will soon be remedied.)
• Also, kept the focus of the fight scene off of Katsuro. He gets enough attention, and he will get more again soon. But it was important to keep this as Sakura’s battle.
• It plunged into Wei’s shoulder with such tremendous force that it knocked him forward before he could lunge for the canopy. — again, the kyuubi’s chakra is making Katsuro’s strength go into overdrive. He doesn’t realize how powerful it is. But after the senbon attack, it has flooded him to protect him. So all his movements are super-powered.
• Growling against it, Katsuro pushed off the branch even harder. He was fiercely determined to get to her. And he’d overcome the demon’s crushing chakra to do it. — Katsuro won’t always have great control over the kyuubi’s chakra. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing now, that by putting Sakura’s needs above his own he wins out over the kyuubi and can channel the chakra in a harmonious way. It will take a long time for him to learn this lesson. Katsuro will rail against the kyuubi, burning him up when he thinks it should be lending him the power. Katsuro won’t realize that the missing component is selflessness.
• “Sakura-chan, if we were teammates, wouldn’t I be helping you home? Any way I could?” She curled her hair behind her ear. Katsuro’s smile grew. — so, don’t get many Sakura-chans in there. But I wanted to make this special. And Katsuro understands her physical response is because she likes his nickname.
• He moaned softly against her mouth, and a sudden rush of warm air spiraled around them. It skittered up her throat and curled up the edges of her hair. Tears stung her eyes again, even as she moved her mouth with his. This swirling warmth was all him. It made her want to never let go. — The warm little wind thing that Katsuro does, even though he doesn’t know he does it. Will be explained next chapter.
• “I— I’m sorry, Sakura,” he said, eyes hard and shining in the darkness. “I’m so sorry.” — So these are his last words to her. And later she will remember them with pain and regret, realizing that he knew at that moment that he was leaving her.
15 Aug 2012 No Comments
Chapter 31 Notes
Author’s notes:
At long last…. Sorry about the wait. But to make up for it it’s a huge chapter. Even by my standards! lol. But I didn’t want to skimp on the fight and kissing scenes. The Jizo and diplomat scenes I’d already written a long time ago, so I didn’t want to let go of those…. Combine that with writing in little bits over the last several months, and you have a really long chapter! But I hope you enjoy….
Chapter notes:
• the Jizo statues — the Jizos I described are real. It sounds crazy, but I wrote a scene about forest Jizos, covered with moss, only to do a google search much later to make sure I had the right idea about them…and found some of the little statues exactly as I imagined. Look up Jizos at the Sanzen-in Temple in Kyoto. You’ll see what I mean! But the larger Jizo came from my first-hand experience at the Freer Gallery in DC. A lovely statue that fills you with peace, no matter what your beliefs or cultural background is. I tried to convey that feeling here in Sakura’s experience. I hope it came across.
• Katsuro in the Stone Forest — the inspiration for this landscape comes from the Stone Forest in China. I made it a lot more desolate and barren for Katsuro though! 🙂 It is meant to be the opposite of Sakura’s experience.
• A foot slid into the stream, and fresh water rushed over the top of his boot. “Dammit,” he muttered, sloshing onto a steadier rock and kicking out the water. — Opposite of Sakura happily kicking dew off the toes of her shoes. Katsuro is soggy and miserable.
• He knew this was the life of a shinobi. His life, the one he so desperately wanted as a child. But damn if he didn’t wish he could change it…just for a moment. — In the manga, Naruto never has to choose between desire and obligation. But Katsuro does. So here he still has his same beliefs, but his choices come with tough sacrifices.
• He wasn’t happy that Wei would be so close to her. But he remembered her words from a before. She was a shinobi. She could handle herself. He had to trust in that too. — important to put in there. He believes in Sakura. He knows she’s not weak. It’s his own fears that are scary, not her inabilities. This theme will come back later.
• The wax seals were thick, meant only to be opened by the recipient. Katsuro knew the rules — never, never, never open a scroll…it ruined the deception — but was far beyond caring. He ruthlessly tore them open, scouring each one then ripping open the next. — Again, a big point is made in the manga to never open scrolls. But Katsuro’s loyalty is to Sakura, not anyone or anything else. So he snaps them open without hesitation.
• He pushed hard off the last cliff, letting the chakra swirl down his legs. The rock cracked from the force. But he stayed focused on the trees ahead, aiming for the biggest branch, he— Suddenly the trees were coming too fast. — So Katsuro doesn’t realize how much power the kyuubi’s chakra contains. This whole event pushes him to use more and more. Awakening a new level of understanding of his own powers.
• “Never underestimate a kunoichi. Do you know why? Because they’re women…or girls. As the case may be….” He unsnapped his cloak with a flourish, folded it and set it on the ground. “They know they have been dealt the weaker hand. So they have everything to lose.” He smirked. “You should expect a fight to the death.” — So first off, Wei’s just a jerk. He’ll say anything to provoke anyone. His specialty is knowing what sets people off, to bribe them or defeat them. Second, the bit about the fighting was from a combat expert talking about his opponents. He always took the smaller man more seriously because he knew the deck was stacked against him. And he was ready to give that much more to win. Same applies to women.
• The diplomat’s house — So tying all this together, Sakura’s diplomat is being bribed to be a middle man. That’s why Katsuro had the red-tasseled scroll as well. It’s not the same scroll, just going to the same person.
• His guest, a handsome man in cream silks, flashed him a broad, curving smile. “Yes it is a very unique opportunity….” The guest’s smile grew wider, rippling up a dashing half-moon scar at the top of his cheek. — All the traits describing the handsome politician from the cherry blossom festival. He’s not evil, he’s just always looking out for the best deal. He doesn’t know what is happening with Sakura, just that he wants to get his offer in before Konoha’s. Whatever it might be.
• Poised over a plate of peach buns, the cream sleeve of the guest stilled for a moment. … The guest relaxed and gathered up the length of fabric from the arm of his silk robe to reach over the buns for another temptation. — So, when Sakura was attending the diplomat at the cherry blossom festival, the handsome politician chose a peach bun for her. But in this instance, he is passing over the peach bun for another temptation. Figuratively, he’s found a better offer than what he thought Sakura had.
• “I’m not going to leave you. I’ll get you…” his voice hitched, “home…. Even if I have to carry you.” — Same words he said to her when outside Itachi’s tent. “I’m not going to leave you.”
• “C’mon. We’ll do it together.” He turned around, offering her his back. — another sentiment he said then.
• Once he knew it was her, the slim map in his sack filled in the rest of the picture. The line of hold-outs, her missions, were dashed off in thick red lines. They were his jobs now, and they ran through the center of the map like a wound, cracking it in half. For them, it was an unbridgeable gulf. — So the color red is like a little “red thread of fate,” but theirs is twisted. The red of the tassels and the red dashes on the map. Both have to do with them, but the connotations aren’t so good.
• Sakura was still depending on him, although she’d never know it. By fulfilling these missions, Katsuro would make sure Itachi never suspected her. — Katsuro doesn’t realize it, but he is making the “silent sacrifice” to Sakura that she made to those kids and to protect Sasuke back in the beginning. Katsuro though it was foolish the, but now he’s doing it too, and gladly.
• As long as she stayed inside Konoha’s walls she’d be alright. — a twist on his development. He used to hate Konoha’s walls, but now he doesn’t think they’re such a bad thing, especially if they keep her safe.
Spoiler notes:
• About the title — The title “Cracked” could be taken as a bookend to the Chapter 18 – “Whole.” Or it might just be a ruse, and the real dramatic break up chapter has yet to occur….
• It was important to open with the scene in the forest, because of it’s connection to their kiss at the end. But more importantly, the place is sacred, hallowed. And in their memories, that spot will be like a temple. When everything else is gone, even what they believed about each other, that place will still be sacred. Still untouched by time…. Reinforcing the theme from the painting…. 🙂 And the descriptions of the Jizo, his peaceful understanding, and the offerings left by other people foreshadow events to come for Sakura. She see it as lovely and mysterious, but her life will one day be touched by sadness. And then the statue will become a comfort for her too.
• “Itachi said since you enjoyed traveling you could handle these as well.” The captain dropped a round-bottomed knapsack beside him. Katsuro looked in, jostling the dozen or so scrolls inside, before gaping up at the captain in utter confusion. — Katsuro doesn’t catch it, but Itachi is well aware of his travels last summer. The signs are there, but Katsuro only sees them in part. For now.
• He felt like hurling it into the fire. But he couldn’t. This was his life, his responsibility as a shinobi. If he was assigned it, then he had to do it. — So Katsuro may be working for the wrong group, but he takes his job seriously. This is his ninja way, just like Naruto’s in canon. But he’ll make some different choices throughout this chapter.
• Wei locked eyes with Katsuro, but this time there was no smile. Instead he pivoted smoothly, turning his back to Katsuro and continued his conversation in a whisper. — Wei is just being a jerk to Katsuro. He doesn’t have any specific inside information pertaining to Katsuro, he just likes to thwart him whenever he can. It’s a dangerous quality and will resurface later, when he does have info to hold over his head!
• The second flung out his nunchucks for a sideways strike to her exposed side. Sakura easily blocked it with her forearm, grabbing the wooden baton and holding it long enough to crack it in her grasp. — Sakura hasn’t had training for Tsunade yet. Medical training, yes. But not the earth-shattering techniques the Tsunade knows. Those will come in the future.
• The bits of information gathered from overheard conversations and from things Itachi himself had said were all like scattered pieces of a much larger picture. — In the end, Katsuro says specifically that now he sees the bigger picture. He knows all the pieces. So this thought early on is important.
• The last shipment, a caravan of high-grade metals, would out do all the rest. … But that’s were things got exciting. — Katsuro doesn’t hate what he does. In fact he kind of likes it. He just likes Sakura more.
• He blinked, seeing the forest in bloody daylight, and he thought he understood. The kyuubi thought its host was in danger. And Katsuro had tapped into that power, just as Itachi had said he would. When he needed it most. — Katsuro’s view is a little simplistic. It’s not that easy. The chakra has come because of his selfless desire to save Sakura. Not for his own needs. He won the tug of war now…but it won’t always be this easy.
• About the fight scene — It was important for Sakura to be in control and stand her ground. Katsuro swooped in at the last moment, but she had by no means given up. In fact, Sakura never mentions Katsuro, never hopes it’s him coming to save her, or thinks about him in the fight at all (save for one moment). This was intentional. She drew on her actual training with Sasuke and Kakashi for laying her traps. She is, after all, a Konoha nin. Katsuro just gave her the courage to be a better one. She’s fully capable of fighting on her own. She was overpowered, but even then she still wasn’t giving up. (Like I said, Sakura’s flaws in this battle will soon be remedied.)
• Also, kept the focus of the fight scene off of Katsuro. He gets enough attention, and he will get more again soon. But it was important to keep this as Sakura’s battle.
• It plunged into Wei’s shoulder with such tremendous force that it knocked him forward before he could lunge for the canopy. — again, the kyuubi’s chakra is making Katsuro’s strength go into overdrive. He doesn’t realize how powerful it is. But after the senbon attack, it has flooded him to protect him. So all his movements are super-powered.
• Growling against it, Katsuro pushed off the branch even harder. He was fiercely determined to get to her. And he’d overcome the demon’s crushing chakra to do it. — Katsuro won’t always have great control over the kyuubi’s chakra. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing now, that by putting Sakura’s needs above his own he wins out over the kyuubi and can channel the chakra in a harmonious way. It will take a long time for him to learn this lesson. Katsuro will rail against the kyuubi, burning him up when he thinks it should be lending him the power. Katsuro won’t realize that the missing component is selflessness.
• “Sakura-chan, if we were teammates, wouldn’t I be helping you home? Any way I could?” She curled her hair behind her ear. Katsuro’s smile grew. — so, don’t get many Sakura-chans in there. But I wanted to make this special. And Katsuro understands her physical response is because she likes his nickname.
• He moaned softly against her mouth, and a sudden rush of warm air spiraled around them. It skittered up her throat and curled up the edges of her hair. Tears stung her eyes again, even as she moved her mouth with his. This swirling warmth was all him. It made her want to never let go. — The warm little wind thing that Katsuro does, even though he doesn’t know he does it. Will be explained next chapter.
• “I— I’m sorry, Sakura,” he said, eyes hard and shining in the darkness. “I’m so sorry.” — So these are his last words to her. And later she will remember them with pain and regret, realizing that he knew at that moment that he was leaving her.
by tricksie in Chapter Notes